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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Dumbo Gumbo

Dom DeLuise and I had a brief scuffle in New Orleans once, back in the early '80s.

I was out on the patio at Broussard's, sharing a table with a prostitute - whom I did not know.

The fat fool trundled in with his entourage, bantering with various tables, and stealing food.

He floated closer to us and caught sight of me.

He began waving his arms, screeching something about how the food here must be "truly out of this world" and giggling.

Then he reached for our bread basket.

I am not a fan of giant, loud, sweaty men with grabby hands.

He screamed like a woman, trying to pull my salad fork from his arm, and the hooker pulled a knife from her hair.

I kicked him in the belly to get him off balance, and she straddled him on the ground, holding the blade to his fat throat.

Turned out he owed her money. But "her" dress was riding up and I could see a bundle down there.

I don't need to tell you, friend - after the cops left, the rest of the night was full of cocaine and disco dancing.

Great city. Tough women.