Shark In The Water

James Woods and I were golfing naked once at St. Andrews.

That's Scotland. Google your Earth, or whatever you kids do.

Well, I caught his balls on my backswing.

Under normal circumstances, this would have been standard, comical slapstick. But it was after dark.

We had doused the heads of our clubs in lighter fluid and lit them up for our swings.

Okay, it was pretty comical.

To answer your next question: Yes, his balls are smoother than his face.

Hideous man. Smells like sausage.
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